Monday, December 5, 2011

Empowered by Victimization

Original Article

12/05/2011

By Shana Rowan

As most of you know, I in no way condone any kind of abuse or violence: domestic, sexual, animal or anything else. I can put words to my experience: terrifying. Futile. Hopeless. Lonely. But they are just words, and the only way I think anyone could truly "get" what I went through is if they were to be in my mind for a few hours. Of course, not only is that impossible but unnecessary, as I think most relatively sane people can agree and understand that experiencing any kind of violence or abuse is awful - even when they disagree on how to deal with it.

It took nearly four years of abuse at the hand of my husband before I was able to leave him. As some of you may already know, my boyfriend, who is a registered sex offender, is the one who effectively enabled me to finally leave. The biggest reason I didn't leave sooner was that I was unable to accept that I was a victim. I knew what he was doing was wrong, I knew it hurt, and the fact that I was terrified of him, even when things were "fine", was present in my mind on some level at all times. But instead of leaving, I retreated into a world where I ignored my gut on a conscious level in order to continue functioning.

It didn't help that the extent of social interaction for me was my job, where I was the sole administrative employee of a construction company. My boss and his wife were both over 50, with children the age of my younger sister, and they were sometimes the only other humans I interacted with on any given day. My family, who has always been my biggest and most reliable support system, lived close by, but I rarely saw  or even spoke with them. I had no friends and no means of finding any, as my life consisted of work and home only. My husband didn't believe in therapy or medication and told me that seeing a therapist would mean I was "keeping secrets from him", so I had little option but to retreat into myself. He effectively isolated me from most of the world, and those that did see me were completely unaware of the truth. I'd become so good at convincing myself that convincing others was effortless.


The Mozilla Story - They Need Help to Continue Development


NC - Boy, 9, Suspended from School for Sexual Harassment After Calling Teacher 'Cute'

Original Article

12/04/2011

A 9-year-old boy North Carolina boy was suspended for calling a teacher “cute,” WSOCTV.com reports.

The boy’s mother, Chiquita Lockett, said the principal of Brookside Elementary in Gastonia called her after the incident to say the comment was a form of “sexual harassment.”

"It's not like he went up to the woman and tried to grab her or touch her in a sexual way," Lockett said. "So why would he be suspended for two days?

According to the station, a district spokeswoman said she could not go into detail, but said the boy was suspended for "inappropriate behavior" after making "inappropriate statements."
- So I guess anybody on the street who tells a man or woman they are cute, will wind up in court and possibly on the sex offender registry next.

The district's Code of Conduct doesn't list "inappropriate behavior," but says "disruption of school" is punishable by five days of out-of-school suspension.

The news of the North Carolina boy’s suspension comes as a Massachusetts elementary school is investigating a first-grader for sexual harassment after the boy struck another boy his age in the groin.

The mother of the accused 7-year-old tells the Boston Globe that her son was fending off another child, who had choked him in an altercation on the school bus on Nov. 22.

I think my kid was right to fight back,’’ said the mother, Tasha Lynch, 30. “He wasn’t doing anything except protecting himself.’’

Lynch says her son has been afraid to return to Tynan Elementary School in South Boston since the fight, according to the paper.

Matthew Wilder, spokesman for the Boston public schools, declined to comment on the incident or why it has been classified as a possible case of sexual harassment. He said officials do not discuss confidential student information.


TN - Woman (Natalie Danielle Haines) Charged in Murder for Hire

Natalie Danielle Haines
Original Article

12/03/2011

Natalie Danielle Haines was arrested after soliciting to have the father of her twin children, [name withheld], 30, a registered sex offender, murdered.

On December 1, Clarksville Police received a tip that Haines had solicited to have the father of her children, [name withheld], murdered on more than one occasion. The case was turned over to the Special Operations Unit. They established telephone contact and texted with Haines to arrange a meeting with her on December 2 at a Ft Campbell business’ parking lot to “work out details of the murder for hire”. At the meeting, Haines was quite straightforward about wanting [name withheld] murdered, provided a map and physically pointed out [name withheld]' residence, vehicle descriptions, and emphasized that it needed to be done before the morning of December 3. The price to be paid was $60 in marijuana and $90 cash.

Haines, 22, was taken in custody and charged with: Solicitation to Commit Criminal Homicide. Her bond is $100,000.

Haines and [name withheld] do not live together and have been embroiled in a custody battle for the 3 year old male twins. Additionally, Haines was arrested for a domestic assault on [name withheld] in October 2010.

The children are in DCS custody.

Anyone with information, call Clarksville Police at 931-648-0656, ext 4013.